Summer's Best and Worst Accessory
November 22nd 2009 21:20
This weekend’s weather in Sydney proved that summer is truly upon us, and with it comes one of the best and the worst fashion accessories – the fake tan.
I have to confess to being quite partial to a bit of faking it myself. As a naturally translucent member of society, being able to add a hint of colour to my Day-Glo limbs is a blessing, especially for special events or if I want to wear white. But I have to admit that every time I go into a spray booth or strip in front of a tanning technician, there is fear in my heart that I will end up channelling the complexion of an Oompa Loompa. Due to this fear, my visits are incredibly infrequent and I instead more often than not rely on my moisturiser/tanning solution which, while making me smell like corn chips if I apply on a hot day, seems to be much less fraught with danger, if not a longer process.
Before heading to a little racing soiree in Melbourne recently, I made the decision not to tan up despite wearing a black dress and white gloves, which of course only made my little white limbs appear even more see-through. After momentarily losing my other half in a crowd of race-goers as we got to Flemington, we met up again and he told me he’d been caught behind “the orange brigade.” I was suddenly incredibly happy being see-through.
From much discussion and observation I have come to a couple of conclusions about those who do end up looking like tandoori chickens and how this happens. How they don’t notice it themselves is still a point I grapple with without success, but I at least figure if I know how this terrible affliction occurs I can avoid being part of it.
Firstly, I hate to say it, but I think many a tanner is not up to scratch. I have found a booth is a much safer option if you’re trying for a natural look. Yes, there are some fabulous technicians out there but the number of people I see with patchy feet, streaky hands, or worse, the clear tan line around the jaw, leaves me slightly perturbed. And incredibly hesitant to get my gear off in front of someone armed with a spray gun.
Secondly, I think the prospect of an instant tan makes people so incredibly overzealous that they forget about the whole “gradual” aspect of tanning and go straight for the darkest tan possible. Remember poor Ross in Friends when he got the timing all wrong and ended up looking like he’d rolled around in the soot for a while? I have a friend whose boss recently ended up not dissimilar in colour when she opted for the darkest tan possible before a night out. Sadly her natural colouring is just as pale as mine, so for her to show up looking like Tyra Banks wasn’t really the natural glow any of her colleagues was expecting. Interestingly she apparently failed to see any issue with her new skin tone. Her co-workers however, were acutely aware, and beyond amused.
My tanning moisturiser may take a bit of time and effort, but I have to say it’s still looking like the best option to me!
I have to confess to being quite partial to a bit of faking it myself. As a naturally translucent member of society, being able to add a hint of colour to my Day-Glo limbs is a blessing, especially for special events or if I want to wear white. But I have to admit that every time I go into a spray booth or strip in front of a tanning technician, there is fear in my heart that I will end up channelling the complexion of an Oompa Loompa. Due to this fear, my visits are incredibly infrequent and I instead more often than not rely on my moisturiser/tanning solution which, while making me smell like corn chips if I apply on a hot day, seems to be much less fraught with danger, if not a longer process.
Before heading to a little racing soiree in Melbourne recently, I made the decision not to tan up despite wearing a black dress and white gloves, which of course only made my little white limbs appear even more see-through. After momentarily losing my other half in a crowd of race-goers as we got to Flemington, we met up again and he told me he’d been caught behind “the orange brigade.” I was suddenly incredibly happy being see-through.
From much discussion and observation I have come to a couple of conclusions about those who do end up looking like tandoori chickens and how this happens. How they don’t notice it themselves is still a point I grapple with without success, but I at least figure if I know how this terrible affliction occurs I can avoid being part of it.
Firstly, I hate to say it, but I think many a tanner is not up to scratch. I have found a booth is a much safer option if you’re trying for a natural look. Yes, there are some fabulous technicians out there but the number of people I see with patchy feet, streaky hands, or worse, the clear tan line around the jaw, leaves me slightly perturbed. And incredibly hesitant to get my gear off in front of someone armed with a spray gun.
Secondly, I think the prospect of an instant tan makes people so incredibly overzealous that they forget about the whole “gradual” aspect of tanning and go straight for the darkest tan possible. Remember poor Ross in Friends when he got the timing all wrong and ended up looking like he’d rolled around in the soot for a while? I have a friend whose boss recently ended up not dissimilar in colour when she opted for the darkest tan possible before a night out. Sadly her natural colouring is just as pale as mine, so for her to show up looking like Tyra Banks wasn’t really the natural glow any of her colleagues was expecting. Interestingly she apparently failed to see any issue with her new skin tone. Her co-workers however, were acutely aware, and beyond amused.
My tanning moisturiser may take a bit of time and effort, but I have to say it’s still looking like the best option to me!
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