Accessory to Injury
March 12th 2009 11:26
As I ducked and weaved through a sea of unnecessary umbrellas on the way to work this morning (it was but a mere drizzle), I almost lost an eye several times thanks to careless brolly flouters. And that got me thinking about the damage accessories to do. I've written before about injuries that can be sustained from our love of fashion, but this is different. What I’m talking about are injuries caused to others due to our accessories. So here I go trying to make an eye patch trendy while having a look.
What astounds me is the general complete lack of special awareness most people have when it comes to their accessories, and this is what causes most of the problems. I have no issue with anyone sporting anything in the name of fashion, but what I do object to is someone else’s fashion choices encroaching on my own space, or worse – causing damage! The top three culprits, and ways to prevent your good self becoming part of the accessory paratroopers are below.
1. Umbrellas and parasols
Trendy? Possibly. Functional? Yes. Dangerous? Completely! As I have just mentioned, umbrellas can cause untold damage due to careless handling. Considering how frequently it rains in Sydney, it is a regular morning that every second person is carrying an umbrella in fear of frizzy hair. And I’m not talking the compact little number that fits into a decent size handbag, I’m talking serious golf umbrellas, and oh how people love to swing them about! I’m constantly ducking and weaving because the person in front has no concept of how far back that pointy end is being swung. And the problems don’t stop there – when the rain actually does start and the umbrellas go up, spatial awareness isn’t improved in the slightest. Pity the poor person who left theirs at home – not only do they have to deal with soggy cashmere and flattened hair, their chances of losing an eye to the umbrella-clad army who refuse to lift their accessory above their own vision level is dramatically increased. I don’t care how fabulous that feather lined Parisian style brolly is, if I get poked in the head with it, you might just too.
2. Oversize handbags
Yes I am somewhat of a hypocrite for citing this as I just mentioned how handy it is to pop a compact umbrella in a big bag, but these things can do some serious damage! Not just to others, but the health implications of big bags has long been spruiked by people who care more about bones than fashion. (Seriously, who are these people?) But if I choose to lump an enormous Gucci tote filled with extra shoes, a spare outfit and my entire makeup collection around, that’s my choice. What isn’t a choice is if in carting my world’s belongings to work I bash my way through crowds using said bag as a weapon. It happens, but not by me. I am very careful to hold my bag in front of me when maneuvering through crowds, but it seems others don’t share the same beliefs. I am sure there are many a pedestrian who is pretty much done with being knocked around by your giant Berkin. If you can’t control your bag or keep it out of my personal space, let alone bruise me with it, please take a clutch.
3. Hats
The chances of injury via hat are more likely to be your own, or if inflicted on someone else, restricted to irregular events such as the races and weddings, but the annoyance caused by every day hats can be untold. The guy in front of you at the cinema who refuses to remove his fedora, the baseball cap your boyfriend wears constantly that you have to navigate under to get a kiss, or the worst – any hat on any driver which instantly converts them to the worst and slowest person on the road, and they always happen to be in front of you. Hats also have a funny way of blinding people into thinking they look good when really they don’t suit the wearer at all. This is where injury to ones self comes in - it’s to your style. When shopping for a hat, take someone brutally honest with you. If they guffaw and tell you to take it off, chances are that’s what everyone else would be thinking too. We suffer enough for fashion, don’t let your style be injured too.
Okay and maybe there’s a fourth, although less offensive, but still painful culprit. The giant bangle. In confined spaces such as trains, any shop before Christmas, or the CBD generally in the morning, at lunchtime or from 5pm onwards, the chances of knocking arms and therefore wrists with someone is greatly increased. And if their oversize bag hasn’t already taken you out, you can easily fracture a wrist bone after connecting with a heavy-duty bracelet such as those from Dinosaur Designs. Again, fabulous to look at, and in no way am I suggesting we should refrain from any of the aforementioned accessories. I am simply pointing out that there’s a greater chance that others will love your sense of style as much as you do if you take a little extra care and give people enough room to watch your stylish self go past, as opposed to them recalling your amazing accessories for less than positive reasons from the emergency room.
What astounds me is the general complete lack of special awareness most people have when it comes to their accessories, and this is what causes most of the problems. I have no issue with anyone sporting anything in the name of fashion, but what I do object to is someone else’s fashion choices encroaching on my own space, or worse – causing damage! The top three culprits, and ways to prevent your good self becoming part of the accessory paratroopers are below.
1. Umbrellas and parasols
Trendy? Possibly. Functional? Yes. Dangerous? Completely! As I have just mentioned, umbrellas can cause untold damage due to careless handling. Considering how frequently it rains in Sydney, it is a regular morning that every second person is carrying an umbrella in fear of frizzy hair. And I’m not talking the compact little number that fits into a decent size handbag, I’m talking serious golf umbrellas, and oh how people love to swing them about! I’m constantly ducking and weaving because the person in front has no concept of how far back that pointy end is being swung. And the problems don’t stop there – when the rain actually does start and the umbrellas go up, spatial awareness isn’t improved in the slightest. Pity the poor person who left theirs at home – not only do they have to deal with soggy cashmere and flattened hair, their chances of losing an eye to the umbrella-clad army who refuse to lift their accessory above their own vision level is dramatically increased. I don’t care how fabulous that feather lined Parisian style brolly is, if I get poked in the head with it, you might just too.
2. Oversize handbags
Yes I am somewhat of a hypocrite for citing this as I just mentioned how handy it is to pop a compact umbrella in a big bag, but these things can do some serious damage! Not just to others, but the health implications of big bags has long been spruiked by people who care more about bones than fashion. (Seriously, who are these people?) But if I choose to lump an enormous Gucci tote filled with extra shoes, a spare outfit and my entire makeup collection around, that’s my choice. What isn’t a choice is if in carting my world’s belongings to work I bash my way through crowds using said bag as a weapon. It happens, but not by me. I am very careful to hold my bag in front of me when maneuvering through crowds, but it seems others don’t share the same beliefs. I am sure there are many a pedestrian who is pretty much done with being knocked around by your giant Berkin. If you can’t control your bag or keep it out of my personal space, let alone bruise me with it, please take a clutch.
3. Hats
The chances of injury via hat are more likely to be your own, or if inflicted on someone else, restricted to irregular events such as the races and weddings, but the annoyance caused by every day hats can be untold. The guy in front of you at the cinema who refuses to remove his fedora, the baseball cap your boyfriend wears constantly that you have to navigate under to get a kiss, or the worst – any hat on any driver which instantly converts them to the worst and slowest person on the road, and they always happen to be in front of you. Hats also have a funny way of blinding people into thinking they look good when really they don’t suit the wearer at all. This is where injury to ones self comes in - it’s to your style. When shopping for a hat, take someone brutally honest with you. If they guffaw and tell you to take it off, chances are that’s what everyone else would be thinking too. We suffer enough for fashion, don’t let your style be injured too.
Okay and maybe there’s a fourth, although less offensive, but still painful culprit. The giant bangle. In confined spaces such as trains, any shop before Christmas, or the CBD generally in the morning, at lunchtime or from 5pm onwards, the chances of knocking arms and therefore wrists with someone is greatly increased. And if their oversize bag hasn’t already taken you out, you can easily fracture a wrist bone after connecting with a heavy-duty bracelet such as those from Dinosaur Designs. Again, fabulous to look at, and in no way am I suggesting we should refrain from any of the aforementioned accessories. I am simply pointing out that there’s a greater chance that others will love your sense of style as much as you do if you take a little extra care and give people enough room to watch your stylish self go past, as opposed to them recalling your amazing accessories for less than positive reasons from the emergency room.
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