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Angry Outfits

August 17th 2008 09:39
There’s no denying that what you wear can drastically affect your mood. If you strut out the door thinking you look great, you are more likely to have a great day. If you’re rushed for time picking out your outfit and make your way to work feeling mediocre, chances are you’re mood isn’t likely to be as good as when you know you look a million bucks. But more than that, I wondered if certain fabrics can actually affect how you feel. Could it be that the outfit you have on during any given day can actually make you mad?

Take for example, my outfit today. I left the house feeling reasonable. Half way to work however I knew I was in for a bad day. My combination of static creating tights and a layered skirt that stuck to my legs like there was no tomorrow was just the half of it. My equally staticy jumper added to the discomfort and made my fine hair flyaway throughout the day, and by midday I was ratty, would have killed for a shower and just wanted to be wearing anything other than what I had on.


As basic as it sounds, the best thing to do is avoid an outfit that makes you angry! Avoid what I did this morning, which was in desperation to get to work looking reasonable with time running out, reach for a jumper that I know annoys me every time I wear it. It’s not rocket science to realise that when you’re comfortable in certain clothes, you’re going to spend less time readjusting yourself and less time getting angry as you do so.

Clothes that have an element of stretch to them are likely to be most comfortable and are more likely to retain their shape. As tempting as it is to squeeze ourselves into outfits with little or no give, not being able to breathe or eat for a day are also factors more likely to make your blood slowly boil than have you calmly make your way through your day looking fabulous. Similarly, man-made fabrics often have the ability to make you grumpier than those more heavily skewed towards nature. I have to admit that when I’m crawling into bed my cotton PJs are a lot less likely to have me waking up irritable than my fabulous but synthetic gold pyjamas.


Can I also recommend you pay attention to how the fabrics you don each day work together. My tragic combination of the particular tights I had on, and the particular skirt I pulled on not only had me crackling through the halls and getting electric shocks off all the door handles, but resulted in me being super grouchy and ready to cut my clothes off by the time the clock clicked over to home time.

At the end of the day, we all know which clothes make us feel as close to supermodel status as we’re ever going to get, and which ones we tend to drag out when our time or our spirits are low. But at the end of the day, if it means forcing yourself out of bed twenty minutes earlier to avoid what I lived through today, I am all for it. Grouchy outfits are no longer welcome in my wardrobe….until the next time I sleep through my alarm…

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Courting Couture

July 1st 2008 09:03
In today’s world of high street fashion, instant gratification and online shopping, has couture become irrelevant? The mere thought of Dior haute couture may get many a heart racing and fuel the desire for a second and third job amongst the mere fashion mortals amongst us, but when it boils down to it, does couture play that much of a role in fashion any more? I put down the latest Vogue to consider the issue with the seriousness it deserves.

The days of Chanel couture inspiring and influencing the every day wear of upper class women seems somewhat of an historical period. Without a doubt the top fashion houses of the world are still revered and their fashion aspired to, but the ready to wear collections by the likes of Dior are what we fashion loving customers are really after. The era of spending tens of thousands of dollars on a handmade gown that takes weeks if not months to create does seem to have become a thing of the past, and realistically when your mortgage repayments are 70% of your salary, it’s easy to see why.

That said, many a woman turns to couture when it comes to her wedding. Christian Lacroix it may not be, but handmade with a price tag into the thousands, and coming with months of waiting it most certainly is. So couture is alive and well, even amongst the every day happenings of our lives. Weddings are a good example of the ongoing relevancy of couture for more than one reason. This is the one day where appearance is paramount and regardless of how simple the wedding, the focus is primarily on the bride and her beauty. A bride on her wedding day, like couture, can be considered a cherished piece of art.

Which leads me to my main point of why couture will always, always be relevant. Essentially couture is about art. The root of fashion lies in the design, and all of us who appreciate the artistry that masters such as Lagerfeld and Valentino have continually demonstrated over the years understand that their couture is an art form. And an amazingly beautiful one at that. Impractical, often seemingly impossible to wear fashion that often makes up couture collections is a true demonstration of the undeniably creative minds of these fashion geniuses. From the talent required to design what we see in an Armani couture gown to the endless hours of dedicated skill taken to put such a creation together, when looked at from an artistic viewpoint the question of couture’s relevance to fashion itself becomes irrelevant.

There is no denying that there is art at work, beautiful fashion masterpieces in the making, happening when couture begins its life at the designer’s desk. And there is no denying that art is universally and endlessly relevant, which means never, ever, shall couture be irrelevant. And we can all thank our fashion gods for that.


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Naked Fashion

June 20th 2008 08:12
Piercings, tattoos, body art, scarification, waxing, tanning: these are all examples of naked fashion. If you peel back the layers, its easy to see that fashion definitely starts before you even put anything on.

The word fashion brings to mind glorious images of dresses, catwalks and to die for outfits, but fashion starts with your naked self, as scary as that may be. Fashion means many things to many people, but if you search for fashion online, or flick through a magazine, fashion usually tends to translate directly to the clothes you put on every day. I, however, believe that fashion extends far beyond this, and starts at a much more grass roots level.

Naked Fashion is fashion that isn’t just about your outer layer. It encompasses the physical you, and what you do to yourself in the name of fashion and beauty. I’m talking about piercings, tattoos, botox, the list goes on and on...and on.

If I had to do a word association test, the word fashion makes me want to shout about a hundred things at once. Words like Dior, models and Paris. But none of these words relate that closely to my every day life, which is interesting when fashion is such a personal thing. Eventually my ideas of what fashion is has to end up having something to do with me somehow, unless I spend the rest of my days in a nudist colony, which is highly unlikely.

History demonstrates that in all cultures, there is a fascination with beauty, and we have suffered through the years to be considered so. Fashion has stemmed from our desire to be attractive, and trying to alter our physical appearance in the name of fashion and beauty demonstrates the idea of naked fashion. Even at the very basic level of trying to be as healthy as possible, drinking a litre of water a day to help achieve great skin, and washing our hair are all examples of naked fashion. We all know that the better we look and feel in ourselves, the better the external fashion we don is going to look.

Think of the naked fashion of many moons ago, the ancient art of foot binding, practiced in China for almost one thousand years. Although this bizarre and horrendous custom reflected the role of women in China during the time, it was also treated as a fashion trend. Most of us are also familiar with the tradition of neck rings, a tradition which started in Burma and can still be seen on some women today. Although the longer the neck of a woman, the more beautiful she was considered, the number of rings also correlated to the wealth of the family, which just goes to show that even many years ago money was considered an attractive quality!

And think of England during Charlotte Bronte’s era. Corsets were used to assist the common goal of a tiny waist, considered beautiful and fashionable at the time. This trend resulted in damage to internal organs, fainting and broken ribs, so not one that we hope makes a comeback any time soon, but an itty bitty waist is still high on many people's body wish list. In direct contrast, the trend of the Renaissance period was to be a much curvier lady such as those immortalised by the likes of Botticelli.

And these days if you're not blessed with the body you want naturally, there's always surgery. Botox is without a doubt fashionable. Already many a woman’s best friend, the jury is still out on whether this procedure is a good idea or not. First used medically to treat lazy eyes, and now with evidence suggesting that Botox may be able to treat numerous medical conditions such as migraines, excessive sweating, cerebral palsy, and overactive bladders, botox seems to be a good thing. But the fact that the injections contain a poison that causes fatal food poisoning is probably one of the biggest reasons some people have issues with the drug as a beauty treatment, and the beauty effects of the treatment were actually discovered by accident. Regardless of personal opinion, there is no denying that botox is trendy. Just like boob jobs had their day, botox is a must have accessory in the world of naked fashion.

For those of us wanting to alter our physical appearances, and that’s most of us, naked fashion doesn’t have to involve the expense of a cosmetic surgeon. You just have to take a little stroll around your local chemist to see the array of products designed to make us beautiful whilst naked. Cellulite creams, miracle cures for stretch marks, wrinkle eliminating moisturisers, it is hard to know where to start. But rest assured, regardless of your body issue, there is something available on the market to fix it.

My favourite examples of naked fashion I have left for last. Firstly, we have waxing. Hair seems to be the bane…okay one of the many banes…of a female’s existence. Hair on your head is aa good thing. Hair on the rest of you is not. Hairy armpits may be okay in some parts of France, but hairy anywhere the sun don’t get to shine that much is generally no longer trendy. The Brazilian took off in a big way in the late 90s, and our most delicate of areas hasn’t really recovered since. Being pretty much back to how nature brought you into the world is still the fashionable thing to do, and many of us pay big dollars, and endure sometimes excruciating pain in order to continue the trend. Team that with armpits, eyebrows (which we are now allowed to grow again thanks to the returning trend of the glamazon), legs, for the unfortunate amongst us, arms too, and it becomes apparent that naked fashion is just as important as our not so naked fashion.

Then, there is my other great love – fake tan. We may have all laughed ourselves silly as Ross became a crispy looking version of himself in Friends during an unfortunate spraying booth incident, but this was completely misleading because those booths rock! Yes, you may smell a little funny for a while, you have to wear the equivalent of a tent upon leaving so you don’t ruin your soon to appear tan, and lord only knows what chemicals can make you gradually brown over the following six hours, but its heaven when that tan hits. Some of my friends swear by the personalised touch of a consultant airbrushing you, but my one experience of being naked with a hairdryer turned on my ass to finish me off has swayed me without return to a little booth that is all my own. Either way, there are no tan lines if you don’t want them, you can wear a white dress without resembling a corpse in just over half a day’s notice, and you don’t risk the nasty Australian sun side effects. The same goes for the home tanning job, but I learnt the hard way that this opens up a lot more room for error when I woke up with stripy legs the day before a major dress-wearing event. And we all have a misguided orange friend. But with practice and patience (which is possibly what I was missing), the home tanning can be an inexpensive and ideal way to be golden regardless of the weather.

This is naked fashion at its best. We all know that the hearsay that a tan is no longer cool is rubbish. People look great when they are brown, and most of us prefer a bronzed look to showing off translucent skin during summer. Ideally, we should be comfortable enough with ourselves to accept our naked selves as we are, but I am a realist. And just as there are fashion trends with clothing, there are undeniable naked fashion trends and as such, I believe that if you can get yourself into a happy place with your elements of naked fashion, whether that be through sporting a tattoo, a nose ring, or getting monthly botox fixes, this will no doubt complement your non naked fashion.

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Fashion is a Pain

June 3rd 2008 21:29
Fashion can be a pain - literally! Circulation being cut off, jeans that won't stay put or squeeze your legs like sausage skins, heels that give us blisters, the list goes on! As much as we love fashion, fashion can sometimes be our downfall.

I learned recently that fashion does not allow for injury. In fact, fashion can be the cause of it. At least it was for me. Sort of. Alcohol may have had something to do with it, but I still blame the stilettos really. But the resulting scenario – namely me with a fractured ankle comprising highly unattractive colours - has made me think, how can you be fashionable whilst sporting an injury? It also got me thinking about injuries sustained from fashion, and how they can be avoided. There are three stand out injury inducing fashion scenarios for me


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Fashion Sense

May 24th 2008 01:01
There is no question that self-confidence is half of pulling off a trend, but there’s a fine line between self-promotion and just being a big head. Without a doubt, cutting edge fashion often requires you to put aside any doubts you may have about how you look and strut out of the house with the confidence of a gal who knows she looks a million bucks. But how to get into that frame of mind?

Firstly, make sure you really, truly are comfortable with the fashion you’re attempting to pull off. If short skirts have never, ever played a role in your wardrobe, the leather micro mini you just splurged on is unlikely to be the thing that changes your mind. If you’re going to spend the night worrying about your thighs and pulling at your hem, you’re going to do nothing but draw attention away from your style and towards your discomfort


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Return of the Knicker Line

May 23rd 2008 08:03
Oh good lord, the g-string is apparently out. Which means that the knicker line is apparently back. It seems women everywhere are turning their back on the trusty g-string and returning to the full brief, which ultimately means a return to that good old clearly visible underwear parade no matter how much the concept horrifies us.

Regardless of women’s unshakeable faith in advertising of the Bonds kind, those no panty line knickers actually do leave a line. Only tonight I discovered my new gay flatmate also wears g-strings because he is appalled by the thought of knicker lines as a man. Not only was his explanation of the full brief panty line hilarious, it was frighteningly apt. You really can see them no matter what you wear, and you really do end up looking like your ass is twice the size it really is. I have invested in the “no lines” underwear in the hopes of swapping the up the butt variety for something less intrusive. Trust me, there are lines


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Leave The Boy at Home

May 4th 2008 01:16
Ladies, it’s common knowledge that one of a man’s least favourite things to do is accompany his girlfriend shopping. And I have to admit that having your boyfriend accompany you shopping is also one of my least favourite things to have happen. You know why? Because it’s not just his shopping experience you are ruining, it is also mine. Here are my reasons why.

1. He gets in the way. You may think it’s great to have your man stand around as you try on dress after dress or shoe after shoe, but as he stands there waiting for you, he is often inadvertently in the way of many a serious shopper. After all your complaining that he is just following you around, the guy tries to do the right thing and gives you a bit of distance. Problem is, that moves him closer to the rest of us. The number of times I have been in a tiny shoe store and had to ask a forlorn looking male to move several times because he is blocking the best shoes as he waits for his girlfriend who is on the other side of the tiny store trying on boots is getting beyond a joke. If you refuse to leave him at home completely, at least let him sit outside when the shop is less than 5 square metres


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Fashion Faux Pas

April 27th 2008 08:05
Most of us have made the odd fashion error, even if we won’t admit it, like forcing ourselves into a top that is maybe just a smigde too tight, the all too familiar g-banger hanging out of the pants, or thinking that white underwear can’t be seen beneath white clothing. Some of these fashion mess ups can be attributed to totally excusable things – fat days, a bad hair day, or a hating your job day for example. There are times when, despite our better judgment, we just can’t be bothered with glamming up and go out looking less than our best. And there are days when no matter what you drag out of your cupboard, you just can’t seem to get it right. These days unfortunately seem to go hand in hand with being a female, and it is just unfortunate that we can’t telepathically explain our bad fashion day reasons to the rest of the population when it does happen.

Most of us gals have enough style to not commit one of the most common fashion faux pas, the socks and sandals crime. This looks utterly ridiculous, and seems to be committed mostly by men, and if your boyfriend insists on sporting both foot coverings, you need to start being a bit firmer with your wardrobe assistance. As hideous as most men’s feet are, (I personally believe no man should ever show his feet in public, other than at the beach where they are hopefully hidden by the sand anyway) sandals with socks are even worse than sandaled men’s feet


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The Fat Day

April 20th 2008 02:01
No matter what size you are, the fat day is inevitable.

Fat days are the worst, and you often realise you are having a fat day at the worst possible time. As you are desperately trying to find an outfit for work because you have a major presentation. Or when you are running late for a lunch date with a hot guy. But the biggest problem with a fat day is once you have decided you are having one, no matter what you put on, your problem area (or areas) only seem to continue to increase in size, and the more outfits you try, the fatter you think you look. And instead of motivating us to exercise, the fat day only seems to encourage sitting on the couch eating copious amounts of ice-cream to console ourselves


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MTV Fashion

April 12th 2008 04:06

When did everyone give up personal style and start trying to become carbon copies of what we see on MTV? All I seem to see lately are guys who appear to think they’re an extra member of The Killers, and girls who take all their fashion cues from Nicole Ritchie. When did everyone become so void of fashion imagination?

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